When someone you care about is going through a tough time with their parents, it can be hard to know what to say or do to help.
Family arguments can be incredibly painful and emotional, while supporting someone through that takes patience, understanding, and empathy.
Here is a guide on how to comfort and what to say to your friend, partner, or loved one who is fighting with their parents.
How to Comfort Someone Fighting with Their Parents
Parent-child conflicts are common, and family fights can feel especially intense –
whether it is about differences in values, expectations, or just day-to-day misunderstandings.
1. Listen Without Interrupting
Often, the best thing you can do is listen and give them space to open up.
People often just need to vent or feel like they are being heard without judgment.
Let them tell you what is going on, in their own words, without jumping in with advice or opinions.
Family issues can be very personal, and just having a safe space to express their feelings can be hugely comforting.
Asking an open question like below shows him / her that you are there for them, without pressuring them to share more than they are comfortable with.
What to say:
- “I’m here to listen. Take your time.”
- “Do you want to talk about it? No pressure.”
2. Acknowledge Their Feelings
One of the hardest parts of arguing with family is that it can feel isolating, like no one else understands.
Fighting with parents can bring up a whole mix of emotions – anger, confusion, sadness, frustration, and many people feel guilty or wrong for being angry with their parents.
Often, putting emotions into words can reduce their intensity, and just talking about their feelings can provide some relief.
Let them know that whatever they are feeling is okay.
Validating their emotions, even if you don’t fully understand the situation, shows that you are on their side and not judging them.
What to say:
- “It’s okay to feel this way.”
- “That sounds really tough. I’d probably feel the same.”
3. Offer Empathy, Not Solutions
It can be tempting to jump in with advice, but sometimes people just need to feel understood, not “fixed.”
Offer empathy and try to understand their perspective instead of immediately giving solutions. If they want advice, they will probably ask for it.
What to say:
- “That must be so frustrating. I’m here for you.”
- “I’m so sorry you are going through this. It sounds so hard.”
4. Ask How You Can Help
Not everyone needs the same kind of support, so asking them directly what they need is a good way to show that you care.
They might just want to talk, or maybe they need a distraction.
Some people are looking for solutions, while others just need a shoulder to lean on.
Giving them the choice puts them in control of the conversation, and lets you know what they need most.
What to say:
- “Is there anything I can do to help?”
- “Do you want advice or just someone to listen?”
5. Remind Them It is Normal to Disagree with Parents
In reality, family conflicts are something everyone goes through to some degree, and everyone has differences with their parents from time to time.
Letting them know that arguments and disagreements are normal can be comforting, and might even ease some of their guilt or self-doubt.
It can help to know that they are not alone and that many people face similar challenges. This can help them feel supported and give them a sense of normalcy.
What to say:
- “You are not alone in this. A lot of people have the same issues.”
- “Everyone goes through stuff like this with their family at some point.”
6. Encourage a Break if Things Get Heated
When emotions are high, taking a step back can help everyone cool down.
Sometimes, stepping away from the argument for a little while can help clear the mind and reduce emotions.
Suggesting a temporary break from the argument can help him/her avoid saying things they might regret, especially if things get too heated.
Stepping away does not mean avoiding the issue; it just gives them a chance to come back to it more calmly.
Encourage them to return to the conversation with a clear head when they feel more grounded.
What to say:
- “It might help to take a break from the conversation.”
- “Maybe it would help to take a break and come back to it later.”
- “Sometimes it’s good to get a little space and think things over.”
7. Suggest Writing Down Their Thoughts
If he / she feels overwhelmed or unsure of how to express themselves, writing down their thoughts can help.
This is especially helpful if they are struggling to communicate with their parents.
Writing things out can help them organize their thoughts and prepare for the conversation.
What to say:
- “Sometimes it helps to sort out how you feel by writing it down first.”
- “Maybe writing things down could help you get your thoughts together.”
8. Be Gentle in Giving Advice (If You Are Asked To)
If they ask for specific advice, share it gently, keeping in mind that family situations are often more complicated than they appear from the outside.
What to say:
- “Is there something specific you want from the conversation with your parents? Sometimes, arguments drag on because neither side is clear about what they want.”
9. Reassure Them That Their Feelings Are Valid
It is common to feel guilty after arguing with family, especially parents.
Reassure them that it is okay to feel upset, hurt, or even angry. Emotions are natural, and just because they are in conflict does not mean they don’t care about each other.
What to say:
- “It’s okay to feel this way, even if they’re your parents.”
- “You’re allowed to have your own feelings about this. It doesn’t make you a bad person.”
10. Use Quotes to Motivate Someone Fighting with Their Parents
Here are some inspiring quotes that you can use as encouraging words to text over and keep him/her motivated:
- 59 Life Is Complicated Quotes to Inspire You
- 165 Letting Go Quotes for Moving On in Life
- 113 Inspirational Hard Times Quotes that Give Strength
11. Remind Them of the Big Picture
Family arguments are tough, but they are usually temporary.
Remind him/her that this is just a moment in time, and that, with time and effort, things can improve.
Helping them see beyond the immediate conflict might provide them some comfort and perspective.
What to say:
- “Things will probably look different in a little while.”
- “This is just one argument. It doesn’t define your whole relationship.”
12. Things To Avoid Saying
While there are plenty of things you can say to support your friend, there are also some things to avoid.
What NOT To Say:
- “Just get over it.”- Family arguments can be deeply emotional, and it is not always that simple. Telling someone to “just get over it” can make them feel dismissed.
- “You’re overreacting.”- What might seem minor to an outsider could feel like a huge deal to them, especially if it hits on a sensitive topic.
- “You should stop talking to them.” – This advice is rarely helpful and could do more harm than good. Family relationships are complex, and cutting ties is not a decision to be made lightly.
- “I’d never put up with that.” – Every family dynamic is different. What one person might handle easily, another might struggle with due to personal or cultural reasons.
13. Avoid Taking Sides
Even though you are there to support someone fighting with their parents, be careful not to make judgments.
Family relationships are complex, and taking sides can make things feel more divisive.
Instead, focus on supporting him/her without getting too involved in the details.
What to say:
- “I’m here for you no matter what. I’m not here to judge.”
- “I know things are complicated. I’m just here to support you.”
14. Encourage Them to Focus on Self-Care
Family stress can really take a toll, so remind your friend to take care of themselves – exercising, eating well, or doing something they enjoy,
Self-care can be incredibly grounding and help them feel more balanced as they deal with family issues.
What to say:
- “Don’t forget to take care of yourself through all this.”
- “Do something nice for yourself. It might help clear your mind.”
15. Offer a Distraction if They Need It
Sometimes, the best way to get through a difficult moment is to take a break from thinking about it.
Offer to hang out, watch a movie, or do something fun together.
A temporary distraction can help them recharge and approach the situation with a fresh perspective.
What to say:
- “Let’s do something fun. You deserve a break.”
- “Want to do something to take your mind off things?”
16. Remind Them of Their Strengths
Family conflict can make people feel powerless or misunderstood.
Remind him/her of their positive qualities and strengths, especially those that can help them through this challenge.
Knowing that someone believes in them can be comforting and motivating.
What to say:
- “You’re really strong for dealing with this.”
- “You have such a good heart. I know you’ll get through this.”
17. Let Them Know It Is Okay to Ask for Help
If the conflict feels too big to handle alone, suggest they consider reaching out to a counselor, therapist, or trusted adult for support.
Talking to someone with experience in family dynamics can help them gain perspective and find healthy ways to cope.
What to say:
- “There’s no shame in getting some extra support if you need it.”
- “It might help to talk to someone who can offer more guidance.”
18. Check In Regularly
Sometimes, family issues do not resolve overnight.
Checking in with him/her regularly, even with a simple text, can make a big difference.
Knowing that someone is consistently there for them can be very comforting as they work through things.
What to say:
- “Just wanted to check in and see how you’re feeling.”
- “How are you feeling? I’m here if you ever need to talk.”
19. Supporting Without Getting Involved
One of the trickiest parts of being there for someone in this situation is finding the balance between being supportive and getting too involved.
While it is natural to want to help, remember that family issues are personal, and he/she is the one who has to navigate them.
Respect their boundaries, and if they seem like they do not want to share every detail, give them the space they need.
Sometimes, just showing you are there for them can make a big difference. It could be through small gestures, like sending a supportive text or inviting them out for coffee to take their mind off things.
Even if he/she does not bring up the family conflict, knowing you are there can make them feel more secure and supported.
Moving Forward Together with Someone Who is Fighting with Their Parents
Family conflicts are an ongoing process and can be tough, so it is okay if there is not a “fix” for every problem right away.
But knowing you have someone in your corner can make all the difference.
By listening, offering empathy, respecting their unique situation, and reminding him/her of their own resilience – you are helping them feel less alone and more understood.
It is not about solving their problem for them; It is about giving them a safe, supportive space where they can find their own way through it.
Being a good friend / colleague / partner during these times can make a lasting impact, even if all you do is listen and be there.
