What To Say to Someone who Got Rejected From College

Supporting a friend or family member after they have faced college or university rejection can be challenging.

Rejection letters can make student feel deeply personal, leaving the individual questioning their worth or future.

While it is natural to want to cheer them up, finding the right words can be tricky.

This post covers thoughtful and motivational things to say, and what not to say, to someone who did not get into their desired college or university.

What To Say To Comfort Someone Who Got Rejected From College

Knowing what to say to him/her can make all the difference in lifting their mood, to help them regroup and see new opportunities.

Here are examples of things you could say or text, range from comforting to practical encouragements, providing a variety of ways to help them feel better and keep their spirits up.

Comforting and Supportive Messages

“I know how much you wanted this, and I’m really sorry. I’m here for you.”
“This does not mean you are not good enough. They just couldn’t see what you have to offer.”
“Rejection does not define your worth; you are still incredibly accomplished.”
“It’s their loss, honestly. They are missing out on someone amazing.”
“This does not change how talented and capable you are.”
“You’ll still do amazing things, even if this wasn’t the path.”
“It’s okay to feel disappointed. Take the time you need to process.”
“This one decision does not define your entire life.”
“Sometimes things do not work out as planned, but that does not mean you won’t succeed.”
“One door closed, but it just means another opportunity will open up.”
“I believe in you and all you are capable of, no matter where you go.”

Validating Their Emotions

“I know this hurts, and it’s okay to feel that.”
“This is a lot to process. Take all the time you need.”
“Rejection stings, and it’s normal to feel disappointed.”
“Your feelings are totally valid; this is a tough experience.”
“You put so much work into this, and it’s okay to be upset.”
“It’s okay to feel sad, angry, or whatever you need right now.”
“You don’t have to be strong all the time. It’s okay to let it out.”
“It’s natural to feel discouraged. Just know it won’t last forever.”
“Don’t feel like you have to brush this off right away. It’s okay to feel it.”
“You are allowed to feel however you feel right now. There’s no wrong way to react.”

Encouraging Resilience

“Remember, this is not the end; it’s just a new direction.”
“Even the most successful people have faced rejection.”
“A ‘no’ now doesn’t mean a ‘no’ forever.”
“This is just one chapter, and your story has so many more pages.”
“You are resilient, and I know you’ll bounce back stronger.”
“I know this feels huge right now, but one day, you’ll look back and see how far you’ve come.”
“Successful people face setbacks all the time. This is just a stepping stone.”
“Sometimes the best journeys come from unexpected detours.”
“You’re a fighter, and I know you’ll find another way to reach your goals.”
“Your journey is unique, and it’s going to be amazing in its own way.”

Motivational Quotes To Cheer Up

Practical and Forward-Thinking Support

“This is a great chance to explore other interests or fields.”
“Do you want to work on any other applications together?”
“I can help you research other schools if you’re interested.”
“If you’re open to it, we can brainstorm alternative plans together.”
“Community colleges and transfer programs can be great options too.”
“Do you want help exploring next steps? I’m here to help however I can.”
“You could still apply to other universities that could be an even better fit.”
“It might be a good time to consider gap year opportunities or internships.”
“Have you thought about reapplying next year or exploring a different program?”
“Let’s look at other schools or paths that can still take you where you want to go.”
“Let’s take this as a chance to find somewhere that truly values everything you have to offer.”

Reminders of Their Strengths, Reassure Their Value.

“This does not define your abilities or potential.”
“You’re still you – capable, intelligent, and full of potential.”
“You have so many strengths that a college letter can’t define.”
“You are valuable and talented, no matter what any letter says.”
“No letter can take away from the amazing things you’ve done.”
“One rejection doesn’t cancel out all your hard work and talent.”
“You are talented and smart, and one letter doesn’t change that.”
“Your talents and skills are real, and you’ll find a place that sees them.”
“One ‘no’ doesn’t change all the ways you make the world a better place.”
“You are so much more than just one application. You have a bright future.”
“Just because this college didn’t see your potential doesn’t mean it isn’t there.”
“You are so much more than just an application. You’re going to do great things.”

Future-Focused Positivity, Providing Perspective.

“This might be the chance to find your true calling.”
“This could be the start of an unexpected adventure.”
“One letter does not decide your worth or your future.”
“Remember, college is just one part of your life journey.”
“There is a whole world of opportunities waiting for you.”
“Who knows? This might lead you to something incredible.”
“You never know what amazing things lie around the corner.”
“Your goals are still within reach, even if the path has changed.”
“Sometimes the best things happen when we least expect them.”
“The future is still wide open, and you have so much to look forward to.”
“Many people find that rejection led them to even better opportunities.”
“Your future is still full of possibilities, and I can’t wait to see what you do.”
“A lot of people have been in your shoes and gone on to do amazing things.”
“There are so many paths to success, and this is just one piece of the puzzle.”

Share Inspiring Stories and Examples

“Every setback is a setup for a comeback.”
“Rejection often turns out to be a stepping stone to success.”
“Many entrepreneurs and leaders started with rejections, too.”
“This could be your ‘turning point’ story, just like so many others.”
“Think of this as just one small chapter in your journey to success.”
“Some of the best stories come from people who were told ‘no’ first.”
“Steve Jobs, Oprah, and so many others went through similar setbacks.”
“You are in good company – lots of great people faced rejection early on.”
“So many successful people faced rejection and found even better paths.”
“Great people do not give up after a ‘no,’ and you are going to prove that.”

Examples of Successful People Who Were Rejected By College or University

The stories of these successful people are reminder that early setbacks such as college rejection does not have to determine one’s future, as many paths can lead to success!

1. Warren Buffett – Rejected by Harvard Business School

Warren Buffett, one of the most successful investors in history, was rejected by Harvard Business School at age 19. When he received the rejection letter, he was initially crushed. However, he applied to Columbia Business School instead, where he studied under Benjamin Graham, the famed economist and investor. This rejection ended up being a turning point, leading him to the mentorship that shaped his investment philosophy.

2. J.K. Rowling – Rejected by Oxford University Best known as the author of the Harry Potter series, J.K. Rowling was rejected by Oxford University. Rowling applied to Oxford but was not accepted, so she went on to study at the University of Exeter instead. Despite this early setback, she persisted in her writing career, eventually creating one of the most popular book series in history, which made her one of the best-selling authors of all time.

3. Steven Spielberg – Rejected by the University of Southern California (USC) Film School

Steven Spielberg, one of the most iconic filmmakers of all time, was rejected by USC’s School of Cinematic Arts not once, but twice. Determined to pursue his passion, he enrolled at California State University, Long Beach, and later went on to create legendary films like Jaws, E.T., and Jurassic Park. Decades later, USC awarded him an honorary degree, recognizing his massive contributions to the film industry.

4. Tom Hanks – Rejected by the University of Southern California (USC) Film School

Tom Hanks, an Academy Award-winning actor, was rejected by USC’s School of Cinematic Arts. Instead of attending USC, Hanks studied theater at California State University, Sacramento. After gaining experience in local theater, he eventually broke into Hollywood, becoming one of the most respected and beloved actors of his generation.

5. Ted Turner – Rejected by Princeton University

Ted Turner, the media mogul who founded CNN, was rejected by Princeton University. Instead, he attended Brown University. He did not complete his degree but later went on to revolutionize television with the creation of CNN, the first 24-hour news channel. His influence on media and broadcasting is legendary, proving that even an Ivy League rejection can’t block ambition.

6. Meredith Vieira – Rejected by Harvard University

Television journalist and talk show host Meredith Vieira was rejected by Harvard University. Instead, she attended Tufts University, where she earned her degree in English. Vieira went on to have a remarkable career in journalism, co-hosting The Today Show, The View, and Who Wants to Be a Millionaire, becoming a respected figure in media.

What NOT To Say To Someone Rejected By College or University

Here are things to avoid saying to someone who has been rejected by a college or university.

These phrases can be unhelpful or unintentionally hurtful, so it is best to steer clear of them when supporting someone through a tough time.

Unhelpful or Judgmental Advice

“Maybe if you’d studied harder, this wouldn’t have happened.”
“You should’ve aimed lower. That school is so hard to get into.”
“You probably didn’t make yourself sound good enough on the application.”

Insensitive Comparisons, Making It About Yourself.

“I had it harder than you, and I still made it.”
“Well, at least I got into my dream school when I applied!”
“I didn’t get into my first choice either, and I turned out fine.”
“You’re lucky you even had the chance to apply – I didn’t get that.”
“I never had a problem getting into schools, so I can’t really relate.”
“No big deal, it’s not like you were applying to an Ivy League school anyway.”
“I know exactly how you feel because my friend’s cousin went through this too.”

Research Studies about Rejection from College or University

Here are some research studies that examine the effects, responses, and long-term impacts of college or university rejection –

covering various aspects of how rejection can influence individuals psychologically, academically, and professionally.

Research from the National Bureau of Economic Research studied the long-term academic and career outcomes of students who were rejected from their first-choice colleges. The study found that these students often enroll in similar quality institutions and experience comparable job outcomes, suggesting that initial rejection may have less of an impact than expected on long-term success.

A longitudinal study published in Sociology of Education found that students rejected from elite universities (e.g., Ivy League schools) often recalibrate their career ambitions and sometimes outperform their admitted peers in terms of entrepreneurial success and earnings, suggesting that rejection can sometimes fuel resilience and determination.

“The Psychological Impact of Rejection on High-Achieving Students” study explores how rejection from top-choice colleges affects the self-esteem, motivation, and emotional resilience of high-achieving high school students. The findings suggest that initial feelings of inadequacy may be tempered by adaptive coping strategies over time, ultimately fostering resilience in many students.