Addressing someone’s personal hygiene, particularly body odor, can be a delicate and uncomfortable conversation.
However, it is an essential step when their smell becomes disruptive or affects their relationships, work environment, or well-being.
Handling this topic with sensitivity and tact is key to ensuring the person does not feel embarrassed or defensive.
By approaching the conversation thoughtfully, with empathy and respect, you can effectively communicate your concern while preserving their dignity and maintaining a positive relationship.
Here is how to navigate this tricky subject without offending them.
Understand Sensitivity of the Topic
Body odor is a deeply personal issue, often tied to hygiene, health, or cultural norms.
For some, it might stem from a temporary oversight, such as forgetting deodorant. For others, it could indicate medical conditions, dietary factors, or lifestyle habits.
Regardless of the cause, the topic is sensitive because it touches on self-image and personal care.
Recognizing the potential embarrassment it could cause is the first step toward handling the situation gracefully. Your goal is not to shame or criticize but to provide constructive feedback that the person can act on.
Consider the Context and Your Relationship
Before initiating the conversation, think about your relationship with the person. Are you close friends, coworkers, or family members? The depth of your relationship will influence how you approach the topic.
– Close Relationships: If you have a strong bond, you can be more direct, knowing they will likely trust your intentions.
– Professional Settings: If you are dealing with a subordinate or colleague, maintaining professionalism is crucial. Focus on the impact of the issue in the workplace rather than making it overly personal.
– Casual Acquaintances: In these situations, you might want to think carefully or consider whether you are the right person to bring it up.
Choose the Right Time and Place
Timing and setting can make or break the conversation. Choose a private, quiet location where you can speak one-on-one without interruptions. Avoid bringing it up in public or in the presence of others, as this can amplify feelings of embarrassment and humiliation.
Additionally, consider timing. Choose a moment when the person is calm and receptive rather than stressed or busy. For example, after work hours or during a casual, friendly interaction can work better than in the middle of a hectic day.
Plan What to Say to Someone Who Smells
Preparing what to say can help you communicate effectively and reduce the risk of unintentionally offending the person. Focus on being empathetic and nonjudgmental.
Here is a framework for structuring your message, alongside 87 examples of how to tell someone they smell in different stages and situations:
1. Start with Positivity
Begin the conversation by expressing care or appreciation for the person. For examples:
- “I really value our friendship and the time we spend together.”
- “I admire how much effort you put into everything you do; it’s inspiring.”
- “I think you’re a great person, and I respect how you handle things so well.”
- “You’ve always been so thoughtful and kind, and I really appreciate that about you.”
- “You are such an important part of our team, and your contributions really stand out.”
2. Use “I” Statements
Frame your observation from your perspective to make it less accusatory. For examples:
- “I’ve noticed something I think you’d want to be aware of.”
- “I care about you, and I’d feel bad if I didn’t let you know.”
- “I’ve been meaning to mention something I think might help.”
- “I’ve noticed something recently, and I wanted to share it with you.”
- “I’ve been in a similar situation before, and it helped when someone told me.”
- “I think there might be a personal issue you are not aware of, and I’d like to help.”
- “I wanted to let you know about something I observed because I care about you.”
- “I feel a bit awkward bringing this up, but I think it’s something you’d want to know.”
- “I’d want someone to tell me if this were the case, so I thought I’d do the same for you.”
- “I feel it’s important to talk about this since it could be affecting how others perceive you.”
- “This is hard for me to talk about. May I tell you something that might make you feel uncomfortable?”
3. Be Specific and Brief
Avoid vague statements.
But if you wonder how to tell someone they smell like fish / poop / urine / cat pee / cigarettes – avoid saying words that may be offensive. Instead, consider the examples below.
Gently and politely mention the issue, such as:
- “I noticed a strong odor and thought you might want to be aware of it.”
- “It could just be a temporary thing, but there’s been an odor recently.”
- “I wasn’t sure if you were aware, but I’ve noticed a strong smell at times.”
- “There’s been a noticeable smell, and I wanted to check in with you about it.”
- “I’m not sure if it’s a new product you’re using, but there’s a noticeable smell.”
- “I thought you might want to know there’s a smell that’s been noticeable lately.”
- “I noticed a smell that might be linked to something like your gym bag or shoes.”
- “I’ve smelled something unusual recently and wondered if everything was okay.”
- “It might be worth checking if your detergent or deodorant is working effectively.”
- “I noticed a smell today and thought I should mention it in case you hadn’t noticed.”
- “I noticed something that could be related to personal care and wanted to mention it.”
- “It seems like there’s an odor that might be related to your laundry or hygiene routine.”
4. Offer Support
Show you are coming from a place of kindness. For examples:
- “Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help.”
- “If you need suggestions for products, I’d be happy to help.”
- “If it’s something you’re concerned about, I’m here to talk about it.”
- “I just thought I’d mention it in case there’s anything I can do to help.”
- “If there’s something I can do to make this easier, please let me know.”
- “If you want, I can recommend some great deodorants or laundry detergents.”
- “I understand this can be tricky, but I thought it might be helpful to mention it.”
- “Sometimes we don’t notice these things ourselves, but I wanted to let you know.”
- “It’s not a big deal, but I thought you’d want to know so you can address it if needed.”
- “I thought I’d let you know because I’d want someone to tell me if the roles were reversed.”
5. Use Humor or Subtlety if Appropriate
For close friends or family members, a little humor can help ease the tension. For example, you might jokingly say:
- “Hey, have you been experimenting with new perfumes? It’s, um, quite unique!”
This approach can help open the door to a deeper conversation without feeling overly serious.
Alternatively, you can use subtle hints, like mentioning hygiene products or practices in a general discussion, such as:
- “I just started using this new deodorant, and it’s amazing! Have you tried it?”
Here are other examples of funny ways to tell someone they smell (including several examples without saying the words “smell” and “smelly”):
- “Smells like a busy day! Happens to the best of us.”
- “I think your laundry detergent is calling for backup.”
- “Is that a new cologne, or is it just gym vibes lingering?”
- “You know, sometimes even superheroes need deodorant.”
- “Are you testing out new fragrances? This one is… different.”
- “Did you forget your secret weapon today? I mean deodorant!”
- “I think your deodorant might not be lasting as long as you need it to.”
- “Did you wrestle with onions for lunch? Something smells like a fight!”
- “You smell like hard work today – maybe your clothes need a little break!”
- “Hey, did you know your gym bag is trying to have a conversation with me?”
- “Hey, your shoes are speaking volumes right now; maybe they need a little air!”
Addressing Body Odor Concern in Workplace
How to tell someone they smell at work can become a tricky issue to address.
– Focus on Professional Impact: Frame the conversation around workplace standards.
Here are some examples of what to say to coworker / colleague who smells in workplace, without being rude:
- “I noticed something and wanted to mention it as a friend.”
- “We’ve all had moments like this, but I thought I’d let you know.”
- “I didn’t want to say this in public, but I thought you should know.”
- “I think it’s worth checking out, just to make sure everything’s good.”
- “I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but I thought you’d want to be aware.”
- “This is not a big deal, but I wanted to mention it since I’d appreciate the same.”
- “I’ve had someone tell me before about a similar issue, and it was helpful to know.”
- “Just a heads-up, there’s been a noticeable smell lately, and I wasn’t sure if you knew.”
- “Hey, I thought I’d mention something that might help in terms of workplace impressions.”
- “You might want to double-check your deodorant or something – it’s a small thing, but noticeable.”
If you are a manager with subordinate / employee who has body odor, it is your responsibility to handle such concerns tactfully to maintain a comfortable working environment. For instances:
- “I noticed a hygiene issue that might affect how others perceive your work.”
- “I thought I’d mention this privately to ensure you can address it comfortably.”
- “This is purely about maintaining our workplace standards – nothing personal.”
- “I think there is an opportunity to improve perceptions by addressing this issue.”
- “We are all here to support each other, and I thought this was worth mentioning.”
- “I want to help you succeed, and I think addressing this will help in the workplace.”
- “It’s essential to ensure a comfortable environment for everyone, including clients.”
- “Sometimes these things happen, and I wanted to make sure you’re set up for success.”
- “I wanted to mention this in case you were not aware, as it’s important for professionalism.”
- “Maintaining professional standards is important, and I wanted to bring up something sensitive.”
- “We aim to maintain a pleasant environment for everyone, and I wanted to discuss something that might help with that.”
– Offer Resources: Suggest practical solutions, such as providing access to hygiene facilities or offering educational resources about workplace dress codes and grooming standards.
– Maintain Confidentiality: Ensure the conversation remains private to protect the individual’s dignity and prevent unnecessary gossip.
Be Prepared for Reactions
People react differently to sensitive feedback. Some may feel grateful and appreciative, while others might react defensively or with embarrassment. Be patient and empathetic, allowing them time to process what you have said.
If the person responds negatively, reassure them of your good intentions. For examples:
- “I didn’t mean to upset you. I just thought you’d want to know.”
- “I’m sorry if this caught you off guard; my intention wasn’t to hurt you.”
- “Let me know if there’s anything I can do to make this easier to address.”
- “I’d feel terrible if I didn’t let you know, but I understand this is sensitive.”
- “I completely understand this might feel uncomfortable. I just wanted to bring it up because I care about you.”
Practical Tips for Raising the Subject of Body Odor
1. Use Anonymous Suggestions: If the situation involves a group setting, you could propose implementing anonymous feedback forms or workplace policies about hygiene standards. This avoids singling anyone out directly.
2. Leverage a Shared Experience: Share a story or example about a time when you struggled with a similar issue. For instance,
- “There was a time I forgot deodorant, and it taught me to keep a backup at work.”
- “Once, I didn’t realize my clothes smelled bad until someone kindly let me know.”
- “I used to struggle with finding the right deodorant – let me know if you need tips!”
- “I remember when I had a similar issue, and it really helped when someone told me.”
- “I had no idea certain foods could cause odors until a friend told me. It might be worth exploring.”
- “I remember when I switched laundry detergents, and it made a big difference. Maybe it’s worth trying?”
3. Suggest Medical Attention if Necessary: If the odor seems unusually strong or persistent, it may stem from a medical condition.
According to WebMD, body odor may be caused by a variety of factors such as armpits, bad breath, funky feet, bacteria and sweat on skin, groin, bellybutton, ears, etc.
Suggesting a check-up, framed as concern for their health, can be helpful. For examples:
- “If this is something new, it might be a sign to talk to a healthcare professional.”
- “I just thought it could be helpful to rule out any health-related reasons with a check-up.”
- “Sometimes there is an underlying cause for these things – maybe a doctor could provide insight.”
- “I’ve read that certain medical conditions can cause changes in smell; have you considered that?”
- “Sometimes certain odors can indicate health issues. It might be worth checking with a doctor to rule anything out.”
When Not to Say Anything
There are situations where addressing the issue might not be appropriate.
If the person is a casual acquaintance, or the odor is not disruptive, it may be better to let it go.
Additionally, cultural or dietary factors may contribute to certain smells, and confronting them without understanding their context can come across as disrespectful.
Follow Up if Necessary
After the initial conversation, observe whether there is any change. If the issue persists, consider revisiting the topic with even greater care. For example:
- “I noticed the same issue again, and I wanted to check in to see if there’s any way I can help.”
Key Takeaway: Telling Someone They Smell
Telling someone they smell is undeniably a challenging task, but it is possible to handle it with sensitivity and respect.
By approaching the situation with empathy, choosing the right time and place, and using thoughtful language, you can navigate this difficult conversation without causing offense.
Remember, the goal is to help the person, not to criticize or embarrass them.
When done correctly, your honesty can strengthen your relationship and show that you care about their well-being.
